He wants me to be quieter, but the seemingly simple act of focusing enough to be silent enacts a dissociative state, leaving me out of body and unable to enjoy the present, which counteracts the point of the activity at hand. What a conundrum he cant possibly begin to comprehend…
“Getting sad again for no reason after you’ve been happy for a long time is literally one of the worst feelings ever.”—
june 2nd?? what the fuck. what’s next? june 3rd? a 4th of june? give me a fucking break.
A year ago, I never thought I would be taking making my way towards a BS, let alone taking classes like physics, calculus, and ochem, along with being part of an amazing research and volunteer group, AND be lucky enough to have an amazing partner who loves and supports me. Ive come a long way since June, y'all.
i am distant because i just want to save you from the worst parts of myself. piece by piece, i am becoming so frozen, so cracked.
“i prefer to distance myself whenever i’m in a bad mood because i’ll become the most heartless person you’ll ever meet”—
just-a-broken-mess-of-a-person:
And after a while you just stop. You stop watering your plants. You stop watching netflix. You stop reading. You stop replying to your friends as fast as you used to. You stop buying yourself nice things. You stop putting an effort into how you look. You stop taking care of yourself like you used to. You stop sleeping. You stop eating healthy foods. You stop petting your dog. You stop socializing.
You stop with everything. You find yourself sitting in your room for hours on end, without doing a single thing. Days feel like years. And you think you can’t do it for much longer.
lilcowgirl7-deactivated20210223:
Sometimes I want to share a thought and then I’m like. What is the point of sharing. I struggled even to share this
